All My Love to Long Ago
by Realmer06
Summary: Penny Clearwater fled London thirteen years ago, at the height of the last war. Now she's back for a visit, and her old boyfriend is the last person she expects to run into, but there he is, Percy Weasley, and there's a lot left to be said.


AUTHOR'S NOTE: Written for the interhouse fest on LiveJournal. Writing Penny was a lot of fun; I haven't had the chance to delve into her character much!

Enjoy!

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There was something about returning to London, Penny Clearwater mused as she watched the crowd move through the narrow, winding streets that made up Diagon Alley, that made her feel as if she'd stepped into one of those time machines from one of those Muggle science fiction novels her aunt liked so well.

It had a lot to do with how young she'd been when she'd left and how infrequently she'd returned, and, of course, how little the place changed whether she visited once a year or once a decade. _Minor_ things changed, of course – new shops opened, new people visited, the individual faces became less and less familiar to her – but the overall feeling of Diagon Alley, the hustle and bustle of the street, the major landmarks, those remained constant.

She hadn't been back to Diagon Alley since she'd fled England at the height of the last war. London hadn't been safe for the magical child of a Squib and a Muggle, so she'd fled to Vienna and her father's sister a scant 15 months after finishing school. Then her parents had been killed and she'd found a job and fallen in love with Austria so much that there hadn't been any real reason to return to her home country when the war was over.

So here she was, some thirteen years later, feeling like a seventeen-year-old school girl again, ready to shop for new dress robes, pick up her schoolbooks, get ice cream with her girlfriends. She smiled as she watched the parents and adolescents flooding the streets doing just that. She stepped out into the crowd, and let herself be swept along by it for a while. Soon enough, she found herself standing outside of Flourish and Blotts. She never had been able to resist a bookshop, and given that she had a good few hours to kill before heading home, she stepped forward and pushed the door open.

The bookshop, like the Alley that housed it, was just as she remembered. New titles on display in the window, bestsellers lining the counter, common schoolbooks arranged by subject along the outside walls. She headed for the inner shelves, letting her fingers run carefully along the spines, taking in the titles and the atmosphere of the shop. And even though she swore she wouldn't, by the time she had finished perusing three shelves, she had a stack of books in her arms, and it was only through sheer willpower that she kept the pile as small as she did.

She was standing in line with her purchases, almost to the counter, when she heard her name.

"Penny?"

She looked up out of habit, not because she thought she was the Penny being called. When a quick scan revealed, as expected, no one she knew, her attention went back to lifting the books in her arms to the counter and smiling in sheepish embarrassment with the clerk over the number of them. Then the voice called out again.

"Penny Clearwater?"

That was harder to ignore. Frowning, she turned to locate the speaker, and froze in shock at the man now standing more or less in front of her.

"Percy," she breathed out in a voice barely audible because, for a moment at least, she couldn't speak any louder.

She'd expected to see some acquaintance of hers who'd happened to recognize her – a realistic expectation given that most of the people she'd once known had fallen into the realm of acquaintance these days – but Percy Weasley was a thestral of a different color, and an utterly unanticipated one.

Percy Weasley had had a strange hold in her life since almost the first time she'd met him. Originally, he'd been nearly unremarkable, just that smart Gryffindor boy who always seemed to be at the top of the class, but she'd come back at the start of third year to discover that, over the summer, he'd gotten tall and lanky, and combined with his glasses and freckles and _God_, those cheekbones (all things that had always been irresistible to her), she'd started crushing and crushing hard.

Her girlfriends had been utterly baffled by it. To them, Oliver Wood and his type were much more worthy of schoolgirl crushes, but Penny had always been shy, and Percy's quiet but solid intelligence and drive for academics was much more appealing to her than Oliver's brash physicality and Quidditch obsession.

It had taken two years and a Prefect appointment for her to work up the courage to actually have a conversation with him, and most of another year for their relationship to blossom into mutual romance.

They'd kept it secret at first because of her friends and his brothers, and also because it was more exciting that way, for these two staunch rule-enforcers to feel like they were doing something forbidden. The relationship had lasted almost three and a half years, and although it had been just as long since she'd talked to Percy as it had been since she'd talked to anyone else, they'd been too much a part of each other's lives for him to ever fade into being just an acquaintance.

None of which meant she had any more idea what to say to him after thirteen years of silence. So like a goose, she just stood there, looking at him, until he spoke first.

"It _is_ you," he confirmed with a smile, and _God_, he was as lanky and handsome as ever. "I thought for a moment I had started seeing things."

"No," she got out with a smile. "No, it's me."

"I thought Xander Pullman told me you'd moved to Germany?"

"Well, I don't know what Xander told you, but I moved to Austria."

Percy snapped his fingers and pointed, the way he always had when he suddenly remembered a piece of information he'd forgotten. "That's it. He _did_ say Austria. That was, what, twelve years ago now?"

"Thirteen," Penny corrected. "I left just after, well . . . you know."

Percy looked away at the same time Penny did, and she knew they were both remembering the last conversation they'd had, the one that had ended a relationship that had been growing strained for over a year, ever since they'd left school and Percy had started working for the Ministry.

"_Percy, I'm not accusing you of anything, and I'm not blaming you for anything–"_

"_Then what are you trying to say?"_

"_That I think we need to seriously consider the possibility that our lives aren't going in the same direction anymore. I think we need to ask ourselves why we're still together because it seems to me that the biggest reason is that it's easier than _not_ being together. That it's what we're comfortable with, rather than what we truly want. I'm sorry, but that's not enough for me, and I'll say it if you won't."_

"_Penny, I love you."_

"_And I love you, Percy. I think a part of me always will. But I don't think I'm _in_ love with you anymore. And answer me honestly. Are you really still in love with me?"_

After a long moment, Percy cleared his throat, jarring Penny from her reverie. "Well," he said with a smile that didn't quite seem genuine. "I'm really glad I bumped into you. Take care, Penny."

She nodded, but there was a lump in her throat as she said, "You too," and she watched him exit the shop, feeling guilty. She hadn't meant to make him uncomfortable.

Belatedly, she realized it had sounded like she was citing him as the reason she'd left England, and she knew Percy well enough (and had heard enough about what he'd been through during the war) to know he had probably shouldered all of the responsibility for their breakup. She remembered now a comment Xander Pullman had made to her just after the end of the war –_"You'd hardly recognize Percy Weasley_, he'd said. _He's so stricken with grief and guilt, you'd think the entre war was his fault, and I know he's blaming himself for his brother's death. I hope he finds someone soon who can help him see things more realistically." _– but Xander was, and had always been, a romantic and a matchmaker. He'd made that comment for her benefit, hoping _she_ would be the one to help Percy, but Penny had known that if anyone could, it wouldn't be her.

And someone had helped him, Penny could see it in his smile and his bearing, to say nothing of the wedding ring on his finger. There was so much about this new Percy she didn't know – and she _wanted_ to, that was the thing. She wanted to know so much about the new version of this man she had once known and loved so well. She wanted that so much – and the chance for it was slipping away with every step he took down the street.

"I'm sorry," she said suddenly to the clerk who was still checking out her books. "I'm sorry, I'm going to be right back, I just need to — one second, please? I'll be right back —"

Luck was on her side, or fate. The clerk just gave a knowing smile and nodded, and it was all Penny needed. She was out the door, scanning the street for that telltale red hair, and sprinting after him once she'd found it.

"Percy!" she shouted, and it was his turn to stop at the sound of his name. He looked startled but not, she didn't think, displeased to see her following. "I'm sorry," she said, breathing hard. "I don't know what your day looks like, or if you have any time, but if you do, I'd love to catch up."

It took a moment – to process the out-of-the-blue request, she thought – but then he smiled, a real, genuine, touched smile. "I'd like that," he said with great sincerity, and Penny could feel herself smiling in return, though hers was more in relief.

"I have to go pay for my books," she said in response, gesturing back over her shoulder, and she was positive she saw him fight back a laugh at her remark.

"The Leaky Cauldron?" he said, and now she was certain of the laugh just under the surface of his words. "Ten minutes?"

She nodded and hurried back to Flourish and Blotts, just in time to pay for her purchases. The clerk handed her her bags with a wink and a, "Go get him!" that made Penny very glad Xander Pullman was nowhere in the vicinity.

The comment made her nervous; the fact that she'd blushed made her more so. As she hurried through Diagon Alley, she probed her feelings carefully, almost terrified that she would discover some lingering romantic attachment, some long-latent desire for him reawakened by proximity. And _God_, what if there was? What was she going to do if she somehow still had feelings for Percy? Especially given that he was married! That was how it happened in stories, after all, in all those Muggle films. You move on with your life, thinking you're fine, but when you reconnect by chance, years later, you find that you never _really_ moved on from that first love, and your whole life becomes about getting them back. Was she about to go into one of the most awkward conversations of her life? She'd only had one serious relationship since Percy, and she wasn't seeing anyone now. Was this, somehow, unbeknownst to her, the reason?

But the more she probed, the more she found that though she certainly still cared about Percy, the feeling wasn't romantic. When she thought about him, there was affection and nostalgia in the memories, to be sure, but no longing, no yearning. No regrets. And when she thought about his wife, the unknown woman now sharing his life, she was pleased to find no envy or jealousy, but rather an honest gladness that he had found someone who had clearly been able to help him.

In the middle of the street, she breathed a sigh of tangible relief and entered The Leaky Cauldron with a spring in her step and an honest smile on her face.

Percy, as she'd expected, was already there, two glasses on the table in front of him. He waved her over when he saw her enter, and stood as she crossed to the table.

"I took the liberty of ordering for you; I hope you don't mind. It's just pumpkin juice, but I asked them to put cinnamon and nutmeg in yours. Mind if I shrink these a bit?" The last was in reference to her bags; Penny didn't even have time to wonder at his remembering how she liked her favorite summer drink after more than a decade. He was already looking at her, waiting for an answer, as if the drinks were nothing big, so she too let them go.

"By all means," she said, pulling out her wand to help. "For some reason, Shrinking Charms don't hold well in Austria, so I'm out of the habit. I just Featherlight everything and deal with the bulk."

"Ingenious as you ever were," he said, retaking his seat, her much smaller bags now tucked neatly under the table. She dismissed his comment with a wave of her hand as she accepted the drink he pushed toward her.

"There's nothing terribly ingenious about the Featherlight Charm, and you know it, Percy. You're just baiting me with flattery like you always used to."

Percy shrugged with a smile. "Old habits," he said as she sipped her drink. He'd gotten the proportions exactly right, though she supposed that shouldn't surprise her. "So tell me about Austria! I assume you found some occupation there, or you wouldn't have stayed."

"Yes, I teach at the Vienna Academy for Magical Females. It's tiny, compared to Hogwarts, but I love my girls."

"What do you teach?" he asked.

"We're structured very differently from Hogwarts. I teach Incantations; it's basically Charms, Transfiguration, and Defense. My aunt got me a position managing their library. It was just supposed to be temporary – a pity position, really – but, well, after Mum and Dad . . ." She trailed off, not needing to finish the thought. Percy nodded solemnly, understanding at once.

"I was sorry to hear about your parents," he said softly.

"I was sorry to hear about Fred," she returned. Percy's eyes clouded briefly.

"Thank you," he replied.

"I can't even imagine—"

"Yes, you can," he said, blunt as ever. "I'm sure you can imagine all too well. You know exactly how hard a loss it was for us, how hard it still is, even ten years later. We're still not fully healed from it. I don't know honestly if we ever will be."

"You're right. I do know the feeling, and it is one of the reasons I stayed in Austria. It was easier to continue with a new life than try and pick up the remnants of the old one. You're braver by far than I for attempting it."

"Braver, perhaps, but not necessarily wiser," Percy allowed.

"Further proof that we always were a Gryffindor and a Ravenclaw."

She was thrilled that the comment made him laugh a little. He was on the verge of responding when a quiet strain of music started playing nearby. Frowning, Penny looked around, trying to locate the source, nor was she the only one who did so. She looked to Percy, expecting him to share in her confusion, but much to her surprise, he looked sheepish.

"Sorry," he mouthed, and pulled out of his pocket —

"Is that a _Muggle mobile_?" Penny asked in astonishment, and Percy looked even more embarrassed. He held up one finger in silent apology, then stood and answered.

She heard "Hey, honey," before he moved away from the table and she stopped inadvertently eavesdropping. Penny's mind reeled with this unexpected development until Percy returned a few moments later.

"So," he said, sitting, "you were telling me about Austria?"

"No," Penny corrected. "You were telling me about your Muggle mobile, actually."

Percy grimaced, then put on the face Penny liked to call his Information Dispensing Face. "In all honesty," Percy started, and Penny had to hide her grin; she knew this Percy of old, "this is one area where Muggles really do have an up on us. An instant, reliable means of communication across distance? Owls take time, and you have to have one on hand. Patronuses are difficult to Conjure, to say nothing of imprinting your message, and they're not exactly inconspicuous. The Floo Network requires both you and your party having access to a connected fireplace, and then the party you're calling has to hear you, not to mention talking through a fireplace is damned uncomfortable and not exactly private. Now, there are enchanted two-way mirrors I think could take off, but they're bulky and obviously fragile, and not widely in use as of yet. I'm working on some promotional material I hope will help; George is actually in on it with me, but we're still in early stages. So it's the Muggle mobile for now. Dad and I developed some variants on a Shielding Spell that allow the phone to function around all this magic. We're waiting to patent them, actually, they're impressive work, though I say it myself. "

"So," Penny said, not bothering to hide her amusement, "you're using a Muggle mobile to make a point to the wizarding world?"

"No, I'm using a Muggle mobile because my wife is a Muggle," he replied, shocking her.

"Oh — wow. Really?" Penny asked, stunned, then belatedly realizing how judgmental that sounded. "I mean, you know, just not what I expected. I didn't mean–"

"Relax, Penny," Percy said, putting her at ease. "I know what you mean. I don't blame you for being surprised. It was surprising for everyone, me included. Honestly, after Fred died, I spent a lot of time in Muggle London, escaping. No one knew me there. No one stared at me with pity in their eyes. I could disappear, and that's what I wanted. But Audrey saw me."

"Audrey's your wife?"

Percy nodded, a little smile gracing his face that changed his whole countenance. That look of love, of tenderness and devotion and simple, pure joy, took Penny's breath away. Then he shook his head slightly, and it was gone.

"Yes," he said.

"How long have you been married? Do you have any kids?"

"We've been married eight years, and we have two little girls. Molly is four and one-twelfth – she's very particular about being exact, she'd want me to say it that way –"

"So she takes after you then, go on," Penny interrupted, and was rewarded by a look of long-suffering acceptance before Percy continued as if she hadn't interrupted. Penny smirked.

"And Lucy is fifteen months."

There was silence then, in which Penny waited expectantly, but Percy didn't seem to have any more to say. "Percy!" she said, laughing in accusation. He looked startled by the intensity with which she spoke.

"What?" he asked, concerned.

"Pictures? Bragging? Tales of your daughters' astounding accomplishments? If ever anyone was built to be a proud father, it's you!"

Coloring, Percy fumbled in his billfold for two family photos that he pushed across the table. One was a Muggle photo, frozen in place; the other was moving in the Wizard style. Penny immediately began expressing her pleasure with everything about his little family, all of it deserved. Audrey was beautiful, and her bubbly personality came through in her smile and the laugh lines around her eyes. And yet, in her, Penny recognized the weight of loss that marked herself and Percy. Seeing the picture, Penny was confident once more that Percy had found someone perfect for him.

And his girls! They were absolutely adorable. "Percy, your family is precious! Look at those girls! Looking at Molly's ringlets!"

Percy smiled, his pride lining his face. "She looks like her mother," he said. Penny shook her head.

"Maybe, but that hair? Those freckles? That stubborn chin? Those are all you."

"What – stubborn chin?" Percy asked, sounding confused. "I don't have a stubborn chin." Penny gave him a look.

"Really?" she asked, and gave an impression of him at his most determined. "'Professor McGonagall,'" she mimicked while Percy pursed his lips but couldn't quite hide his amusement. "'I know it will be a challenge to take on seven NEWT classes in addition to the Head Boy-ship, but I insist I be allowed to attempt it.' Despite the fact that you hadn't been _named _Head Boy yet, as this was at the end of sixth year."

"All right, all right, you've made your point," Percy said, laughing. "And yes, Moll is stubborn as all get-out. But she was walking by nine months and talking in full sentences by sixteen, so the stubbornness is certainly paying off. She watches her older cousins and is determined to do what they can do, especially James. She's smart as a whip, too. She figured out how to unlatch her crib when she was eighteen months old; I had to put wards on the bars to keep her in."

"There's the bragging I was hoping for," Penny said. "Now, come on, give Lucy equal attention."

Watching Percy talk about his family made her, more than anything else, feel seventeen again, watching her boyfriend talk about his plans for the future. There was the same light in his eyes, the same tone in his voice, the same enthusiasm coming out in his hands as he illustrated the words he was saying. It had been a long time since she had seen Percy so happy, and it made her happy.

The conversation eventually came back to her and what she was doing in London if she lived in Austria. So she told him what she had told few other people – she was publishing a book, a memoir, about growing up without an easy blood label in a time where blood status had been everything. The book talked about growing up as a Muggle, learning of her heritage, being attacked and Petrified her sixth year, and what had driven her out of the country after Voldemort's return. It was a project that had started from her journals after she had fled, and then she'd just had more and more to say, and finally her aunt had suggested trying to organize the thoughts and market them so that those in similar situations might feel more comfortable about coming forward. She'd come to London to meet with a magical publishing agency. It hadn't quite sunk in yet, but Percy's enthusiasm was helping it to.

"You should talk to my sister-in-law, Hermione Granger, you remember?"

"Of course," Penny said. "She and your brother finally got their act together, then?"

Percy grinned. "Took them long enough, but yes. She works in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement; she's doing a lot of work with Muggleborn rights and recognition. At the very least, she can help with promotion, but I wouldn't be surprised if she was willing to write a forward."

"Wow," was all Penny could think to say. "You'd be willing to put me in touch with her?"

Percy waved away the concern with a strange look. "I'd be willing to put you in touch with her even if it was much more complicated than sending an owl. It's hardly an imposition, and you remember Hermione. If she finds out I knew about your project and _didn't_ tell her about it?"

That made Penny laugh. "Fair enough. She really gets her teeth into a thing, doesn't she?"

Percy nodded. "And always has. Do remember her spending almost every waking hour in the library the month before Christmas our fifth year? I found out much later she was trying to find information on Nicolas Flamel knowing only his name."

"Percy, I remember very little about that year beyond trying to work up the courage to ask you out," Penny reminded him. "And the year after that, I was so busy sneaking around the castle to meet you that it's a wonder I got any schoolwork done at all."

"I'm sorry, _you_ were busy sneaking around the castle?" Percy asked, raising an eyebrow. "Who was the one sending daily owls with _riddles_ about not only the place but the time to meet?"

"It's hardly my fault you weren't smart enough to solve my really very simple puzzles," she said with an air of innocence.

"You had me triangulating castle coordinates based on Mars and Beeteljuice at the summer solstice!"

"It's also not my fault you opted not to take Advanced Astronomy."

"It was February!" Penny couldn't help it; she burst out laughing. "It's not funny," Percy said with great dignity, despite the lurking smile that said he did, in fact, find it slightly funny. "Do you know how many times I almost got caught by Filch?"

"I know how many times _we_ almost got caught by Filch," she said with a giggle. "Do you remember the time McGonagall almost caught us?"

Percy groaned. "Don't remind me," he pleaded. "That was easily one of the most embarrassing moments of my life."

"You're the one who insisted on secrecy," she reminded him.

"Can you blame me?" he asked. "You remember what the twins were like the start of our seventh year, thank you, Ginny."

"I had no idea a person's face could achieve the shade of red yours hit when you turned and saw her in the doorway." They both laughed, remembering, and across the table, their eyes locked. For a long moment, they were silent. Then Penny smiled softly. "It was real, wasn't it?" she said, her voice quiet. "You and me. Such a long time ago, we were just a couple of kids. But we really loved each other, didn't we?"

"We did," Percy said. "Penny, I'm –" He hesitated, a frown just evident in his forehead. "I'm sorry for how things ended," he said. "I was a fool, a blind idiot, and I should have—"

But Penny was shaking her head. "Percy," she interrupted gently, "I meant what I said. We didn't break up because of anything you did or didn't do. It wasn't about Voldemort or Austria or what either of us believed. We broke up because ours was a schoolboy romance, built for the halls of the castle. It wasn't built to survive in the bigger world. It was what we needed at the time, and I'm so grateful for the years we had, for what we were. But we didn't end because you believed the Ministry and I believed Dumbledore. We ended before that, we just didn't want to admit it."

It took a long moment, but eventually Percy nodded. "I am glad I ran into you today, Penny," he said then.

"So am I," she told him, and she meant it.

Just then, the bell from the Muggle door rang, signaling a new arrival. Penny and Percy both turned to the newcomer, and Penny recognized her instantly. Audrey. Percy's face lit up when he saw her, and he stood to greet her.

"Hey, you," she said with a smile, coming over.

"Hey, you," he replied. "Hon, this is Penny."

Penny stood and offered her hand as Audrey's eyes lit with recognition. "Not Penny Clearwater?" she asked, shaking Penny's hand warmly. "I've heard so much about you!"

"You – you have?" Penny asked, startled, glancing at Percy, who offered her an apologetic shrug and a smile.

"Of course!" Audrey said with a friendly smile. "Percy talks about you all the time."

"Thanks for letting me steal him for an afternoon," Penny said. Audrey shook her head.

"Anytime. Can you stay for dinner? Would you like to meet the girls?" The offer was so sincere Penny felt real regret about having to refuse.

"Unfortunately, I can't. My Portkey home leaves tonight. If I miss it, it'll take ages to arrange another one, and our school year starts next week. I wish I could, though. Your girls sound lovely."

"Well, the next time you're in the area, I absolutely insist," Audrey said. Penny smiled and nodded.

"Thank you," she said. She embraced Percy and Audrey, picked up her bags, and made her farewells. She was almost at the door when Percy's voice rang out.

"Penny?" She turned. "Don't be a stranger, all right? I'd like to keep in touch."

Penny smiled. "Me too," she said. "_Auf Wiederschauen_."

"Until next time," Percy said, offering a slight wave as Penny slipped out onto the street.

She took a deep breath and released it slowly. The day had awoken a flood of memories and emotions, but she was glad it had happened, glad to have seen Percy again, glad to have gotten the closure she hadn't known she wanted. She'd meant what she'd said to him. They really had loved each other. And she wouldn't change that for anything.

A smile on her face, she headed up the street for the Ministry, composing her first letter to Percy in almost fifteen years in her head as she went.

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Please review.


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